Sunday, August 14, 2011
(day forty-six) better out than in
TODAY was beautiful. Not only was the weather incredible... but i got to spend some time with amazing people, got to jump around and praise our king, got to hear pastor dan talk about what it REALLY means to BE the church, ran into some friends I haven't seen in years, kissed on lots of babies, rode around on my friend's scooter, read my chapters at the park, fell asleep on a picnic table at the park, then enjoyed some time with the two people who raised me. Life is good.
On another note, I've been dealing with this weird growth on my hip. Not really sure what to call it... Bertha perhaps? Hmmm.... Anyway, it's one of those weird/kinda gross/awesome things I thought I'd humbly share with you. Why?? Well because A) you're basically family now B) i like to be vulnerable i guess C) God is healing me with the help of natural medicine and prayer D) i pulled something spiritual from it of course! haha.
I first noticed something slightly strange about 5 months ago. Looked like a bite at first then made a little knot under my skin. Well, that crazy little knot started growing. I'm not gonna lie... I would lay in bed at night picturing tiny bugs hatching from my skin like some horror movie. Have I grossed you out yet? Ok, it wasn't that bad... really. Although, i did have to put all my trust in God at this point. I guess it could have been anything. My brain would sometimes wonder, then I'd reel it back again to a neutral thought. I did go to the doctor after that and got no sign of emergency. But in a matter of just a few days it began to grow at an alarming rate and become really sore. The crazy thing is, I didn't even worry about it! God kept releasing this calming peace at the moments when I needed it the most.
My best guess at this point was that it was some sort of an weird infection (or alien baby). So, I did some research and bought a few natural remedies I thought might help. All the while I was giving it up to God daily. (Side note: thought it was very interesting that this inflamed sore thingy started showing up right as I finished the chapter of Job. Hmmmmm....)
One day I was telling a very wise friend about it and she said something I had never thought of. You see, there seemed to be something under the surface that wasn't supposed to be in there. And my cool body wanted it out. Over some time this toxic thing began to be pushed to the surface and it started getting ugly. But then I realized that I'd rather have it outside of my body than in it... so this whole ordeal was actually a good thing! It was my body's way of purifying itself. Wow!
My friend went on to say that it's just like when we have something in us that God wants to cleanse us from... like a lie we've believed or an "untreated" sin. Sometimes it may go unnoticed because of our busy lives, or maybe it gets avoided because we don't want to face it (or own up to it). When it's deep under the surface and still pretty small, it's harder to see from the outside. But if we are children of God, He wants us free from all that stuff. If we've given Him control, we've also given Him the authority to cleanse us. He naturally wants to get that stuff out... but so much of the time we fight it, ignore it, or call it something else. And if it goes "untreated" by Him, then it'll get real ugly real fast.
Sometimes I see the effects of sin (or lies believed) in someone's life when they act out in anger, rage, impatience, rudeness, sarcasm, control, or manipulation. Everything coming out has come from somewhere deep within. Most of the time it starts with us NOT believing the truth about God and ourselves (that we are BELOVED adopted kids). Then we believe some lies, roots grow, and we accept that's just how it is.... RATHER than living in the truth and freedom of what God says about us! So this whole affliction was partially to show me that He wants that crap out of us before it festers like a nasty thing for all the world to see! He wants all of us to be purified and cleansed by Him- our minds, bodies, and souls! He wants us to live and work and play in COMPLETE freedom! And wouldn't you know it.... my crazy hip bump is actually getting better!!!! Yahoooo God!
And if you thought this whole thing couldn't get any cooler... well, it does. Even Pastor Dan talked about it today! He said, "sometimes it's the things under the surface that we don't pay attention to that can destroy the surface." He also mentioned that we- the church- are the body... a living organism. And that we must have freedom and unity within the body to ever make a positive impact on this world for Christ. So now we can see how important it is on an individual AND collective level. God wants all of us so He can make us healthy, whole and free...without any nasty little infections that eat away at our soul.
Tonight, ask God if there's anything He would want to bring to the surface in your life so He can cleanse it and we can move forward in freedom. When He begins to bring something to your attention let Him do His job. Try your best not to focus on the thing, but to simply repent of whatever it is and begin declaring His goodness. Sometimes the process might be a little painful, but the joy and freedom that follows is so worth it!!! Just remember that we are in a constant process of sanctification so be patient with yourself and with God. With each "removal" is a new spot in your heart for God to reveal His love to you in a new, refreshing, and fulfilling way.
B90: (Proverbs1- 15:16) Talk more on Proverbs later :)