(day thirty-nine) Rooted or Rotten?

The past few days I've been thinking a lot about expectations. So, I looked it up. Expectations:

1. A strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future. 2. A belief that someone will or should achieve something. Truth is, if our expectations are for the glory of the Lord that's great! And He wants to exceed all of them! Example: I'm expecting God's power to come through in this situation, or I'm expecting Him to work in this person's life, or I know my future is bright because I expect God to do great things in and through me. These expectations go hand in hand with praying into God's will and reading the truth we have available to us....being ROOTED in the source.

And i really hate to say this... but i truly believe any other expectations we could have for ourselves or others come from the desire to control. And that's no good...in fact, it's rotten. Control is simply based in fear and lack of trust. Now, if you are working I'm sure there are expectations that come along with the job. Even so, if you don't live up to these... there may be some sort of penalty in store. So many times we place these on others and when they fail we are disappointed or angry. On the contrary, we also put expectations on us... and beat ourselves up if we can't fulfill them. Every day the world puts expectations on who we are supposed to be, how we are to act... we should be good in school, get a decent job, marry a nice man, have beautiful children, be part of a church, drive a good lookin car, etc etc. And if you are a christian.... there are even more on top of that! What happens when we mess up? Or when something doesn't quite work out like you, your parents, your spouse, or the world planned it to?

Here's the thing. YOU are not a failure. You are a child of the King. Why then are we STILL basing so much of our life on performance instead of love. We celebrate people when they live up to our expectations so they will keep doing "good", and we punish when people fail with guilt, shame or anger. Here's a thought even more frightening... what are we teaching in church? Is it God's love and our action of that love that draws people to a place to be healed and experience this love? Or is it our agenda that pushes them there so they will perform better and probably find it harder to get up off the floor next time because of a failure to "live up"?

I know i talk about God's love ALL THE TIME, and you may be getting weary of the repetitiveness.... but I just feel like it's weighing on my spirit and it's something God really wants to drive home. I definitely DO NOT have all the answers... but i do know that the answers ARE in the spirit within us and in the word of God. Again, His expectations of us are simple. BE HIS KID. When we know how to be His kid first... we know how to love others well no matter where they are in life. We also begin to understand how to pray in His will because we are spending so much time at His feet. This is when we REALLY start to see things happen! Another thing that happens is we begin to praise Him and declare His goodness CONSISTENTLY, no matter what is going on.... because we know He deserves it and that is the only thing that will get us to that place of heavenly perspective.

LIES are all around us. The enemy LOVES to manipulate and twist things. He loves to destroy relationships of all kind.... especially marriages. He loves to tear friends apart, family members and even churches. Ugh. Stupid devil. We've got to STOP laying around and believing them friends! We must recognize that the lie obviously contradicts what God says about us, take hold of it... trash it, and fill back up with His truth! This is why our battles are not of this earth (Eph 6). And our battles are won by praising Him and meditating on His word! Then we see the lie for what it is, and have the strength to stand firm and resist. So instead of believing the lies, wanting control, manipulating, placing unrealistic expectations, or performing... we must learn how to be a child and sit at His feet listening to how much He adores us and the world. I know that God is a Just God... but I still wonder why we focus so much on his judgment as a way to finagle people to the cross. It began with love and will end with love.

B90: (Job 31:17- Ps 8:9) I made it out of Job!! Shwew, thought i would never leave that place. It's kinda like going to a movie for me, I get so emotionally attached to the characters that I actually feel what they are going through. A blessing and a curse I suppose. Our time in Job's story today was kicked off by our good friend Elihu. I seriously love this kid. Basically he says... I'm young, i've patiently and respectively waited my turn, now i'm ready to speak the truth. Here it goes. In Ch. 32: 8 & 9 Elihu tells Job and his "wise friends" that the answer is not found in experience or earthly wisdom, "but it is the spirit IN man, the breath of the Almighty, that makes him understand." How often do we rely on what the world is telling us, rather than what God says... especially in the dark place. When we don't see or feel Him then we rely on the word... and as good friends we speak OUT the lies and speak IN the truth! Amen?

In Ch. 34 Elihu is calling out the lies and putting them to shame with God's truth! I love this Chapter. He's literally cutting the enemy in half with the sword, the truth of who God is. Once Elihu brings light to the REAL issue going on, it's a lot easier to see that in the midst of darkness satan took advantage of Job's perplexing turmoil with sneaky little lies. Then we can follow the rabbit trail as Job then sets false expectations for God as He tries to manipulate himself out of the situation He's currently in. Most of us can recall a time in our life when this has happened. And we all know how difficult it is to STAND and trust in this place. And in Job's defense, he had it haaaaaaard. But I truly believe this is one of the many reasons we have the story of Job: we have or will be in the dark place at this point, and all God expects of us is to be his kid by trusting Him as our Father and praising Him in the dark.

One of the coolest moments of my life is when my outreach team drove deep into the jungles of Malaysia to encourage some men who live in these underground hut things. They don't have ANYTHING... even their wives and children are in another country. These men are being hunted all day long by viper snakes, wild boars, and other wild animals. Not to mention the government, who wants them out or dead. When we got there it was so dark and they began to lead us deeper into the jungle to another little hut. When we got there, they broke out the guitars and started singing. I've never seen a group of men, who have absolutely nothing, worship God with such passion. All of this occurred in the black of night. This was THE most amazing love exchange with God that I've ever experienced. THIS is what awaits us when at our very worst, dry, weary, dark place... God shows up in a majestic powerful way. All we do is praise.

Then the Lord says..."Where is the way to the dwelling of light, and where is the place of darkness, that you may take it to its territory and that you may discern the paths to its home?"
(Ch. 38:19 & 20) After the Lord speaks, Job takes his beautiful mess and confesses and repents to the Lord. Then the Lord restores to Job much more than he had in the beginning.

"Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers." ( Psalm 1: 1-3)
Just remember that even trees who are rooted to the source of their life go through dry and dark seasons. We must trust that we are connected to the source during those times, that He hasn't left us, to keep aligning ourselves with the truth, and to praise Him with our branches high! Pretty soon we'll return to basking in the sun bearing FRESH tasty fruit for all to feast on. And the glory will be all His. Amen!

(day thirty-eight) Why Jesus?

First things first. I think there's a praise report in order. About a month ago I met a young woman who was searching big time. She was very honest about her past, which revealed a painful marriage as well as being deeply involved in the muslim religion. She knew a whole lot about the bible and wasn't afraid to ask questions... but Jesus was her roadblock. In her case, she got so involved in the muslim way of life that to believe Jesus was also God would not be a good "turn out" for her. We knew there was nothing we could or should say to "convince" her, it had to be the holy spirit to reveal the truth. So... my mom, a good friend of mine, and i started praying. We knew that it was going to happen on God's watch and through a supernatural event.

The other day my mom felt led to give her the book "Heaven is For Real", which is awesome by the way! She thought she could read it on vacation, but instead she read the whole thing in 6 hours. Last night she stayed up crying out to God and praying. Before she fell asleep she asked God to open her heart and reveal the truth to her so she would no longer live in fear of this agonizing decision about her faith. As she slept she had a dream where my mom, my good friend and i were all present. In the dream we kept telling her to come with us. When she woke up she knew that Jesus was who He said He was, and God was God. She chose at that moment to surrender her life completely to the Trinity and receive all of His love for her!!! Yahoooooooo!!!! We just got a call from her a few hours ago and celebrated! I can't wait to see how God rocks her and moves through her in this life! I love how God doesn't get stressed about the pace of our journey or the path he chooses to bring us there... perhaps, He delights in it.

Today in church Pastor Dan spoke in Romans 8 about us receiving the spirit of adoption as sons and daughters, not the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear. As his adopted kids we cry, "Abba Father!" and our papa hears us. Just like my friend who wrestled daily with the truth of God, we are caught in a tension between our current earthly situation and our future salvation. He said that when you see the future it shapes and dictates how you view the present. For example: whether you know you'll win a million tomorrow or it will be your last day on earth, you will live according to that promise today. God knows there is struggle and decay on this earth from the effects of sin... but He also says it's not even worth comparing to the glory that will be revealed to us one day. Our acceptance of our very own adoption, glimpses of the kingdom on earth, knowledge of the word, and direction of the Holy spirit lead us to a place where our visions of heaven can run wild! This should be the very thing that determines our response to the present.

I used to be the person who was only different than the world because I had made a "decision" and went to church. I watched the same things, said the same stuff, listened to the same lies, reacted the same way, was quite careless with my body, fearful, depressed at times, and most of the time confused as to what God was doing in my life. Don't get me wrong I had times of joy, revelation, conviction, and relationship... but I was not free, and there wasn't a whole lot of evidence in consistent healthy fruit. I think a huge misconception is that when we are "saved" that's it. Then we become a better or worse christian at that point. Well, that's a bunch of bull in my opinion. Yes, something magnificent happens when we are "saved"... but there is a constant process of sanctification that happens as He's restoring us to Him. He wants us to live FREELY even on earth. Free as kids who love the heck out of their dad, and it becomes very visible to all those around because of the way we treat ALL of His creation in our response to His love.

B90: (Job 13- Job 31:16) I tell you what, every time i start to read Job i'm ready to get out of there! But even in the midst of all the depression and darkness, there are tiny bits of light and hope. One particular thing stuck out to me in Job tonight right after my friend Matt had shared a special story with me. Job says, "What is the Almighty, that we should serve Him? And what profit do we get if we pray to him?" (Ch 21:15) I feel that if we were being completely honest, most of us have asked this question at some point in our life. If not, maybe we should. Not to undermine His power or authority.... but so that you honestly know WHY you follow Him. I mean, we might know the sunday school answer but do we REALLY know for ourselves?

Matt said that one of the kids he has been mentoring was recently saved and had an amazing vision the other day of confirmation. He had just asked himself this question, just like my friend i mention in the beginning of this blog..."Why Jesus?" In this vision He saw himself and his friends behind bars. At one point as they were crying out, a man came and released them. Instead of following the man who released them they ran away and were captured again. This happened several times before they realized the one who had been releasing them must know what He's doing and must have great compassion on them. All the sudden, as they began to follow where He went... they discovered it was Jesus. He finally understood that Jesus was the only one who can truly break us free from our bondage of sin and slavery! One of the beautiful things Pastor Dan mentioned today in the sermon was, "what the law could not do for you, Jesus could."

Tonight as I was reading in Job, this song came on by The Swell Season. It's one of my fav's and I'd love to share it with you because I think it's very timely to what the spirit of God is saying now. When I hear the words: I hear the struggle, pain and cries of Job, myself, and all of you. Then I hear our Father coming to our rescue and begin feel the hope, redemption, and unfailing love. I pray your soul is lifted up today so high that you see yourself through His eyes.



I don't know you
But I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me
And always fool me
And I can't react
And games that never amount
To more than they're meant
Will play themselves out

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You've made it now

Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now

(day thirty-seven) Help... it's dark in here!

There have been a few times in my life where i've experienced pockets of darkness or moments of hopelessness. A lot of those times happened to be on outreach when I was in a foreign land without the comforts, securities, and stabilities of home. Without someone's familiar words to guide me to the light, or someone else's hug to find warmth. I remember one specific time of complete discomfort and fear while I was in Bangladesh a few years ago. One particular day I felt sick and had to stay back at the ywam base alone. That was one of the longest days of my life. I vividly remember laying in my bunk surrounded by a mosquito net finding it hard to breath because of the thick hot stagnant air. It must've been a degree or two hotter than what I imagine hell would feel like; and the electricity, which kept the fans pushing hot stuffy air around the room, gave out on me. All I could hear, besides the thoughts of suffering in my head, where the repetitive and haunting sounds of the "call to prayer" blasting continuously on the loud distorted speakers no human ears could escape. Oh, but it doesn't stop there. To add to the irritating smell of death, I was having excruciating pain in my body in the form of fever and chills.

Ok, at this point you're probably thinking: "Lindsey, you are being a little over dramatic aren't you?" Perhaps I am, but this event stirred something deep within that hadn't been touched before and has only been grabbed once or twice since then. There is something at the depths of your soul that, when faced with potential death, has the choice to give up... or fight through. The fighting consists of the decision to simply stand in the face of adversity, know your purpose in this earth, and worship the LIVING God no matter the circumstances that surround you. This is the very moment hope begins to resurface... and when it does, boy... you hang on for dear life! To persevere means to: persist in or remain constant to a purpose, idea, or task in the face of obstacles or discouragement. No matter if we face trials or not (which we all do), we must ask ourselves this question: Who/what are we living for, and is it really worth it? I hope your answer is Jesus and if so the following answer should be yes. (If you're answer isn't Jesus, trust in God for your revelation of who He really is and He'll begin to reveal Himself to you in a mighty and loving way.) But how often do we rest comfortably at our sunday school answer before giving Him the chance He deserves to prove His worth to you?

Truth is, He proves it in His crazy love for us. (Before the cross, at the cross and since the cross) His love is proven in the testimony of thousands in the written word, and hundreds of thousands- if not millions- since then. Have we given God a chance to reveal this hope and show this love or have we given up when the going gets tough? Do we find it easy to "obey" Him when things are good and a little bit harder to follow Him in the dark? Truthfully, I found it very hard at times to find the security of His grip on my life during those difficult life-threatening situations, but that's when i had to TRUST He was there because He said He was and not because i felt Him.

I remember back in Bangladesh as I fought hard to understand through my tears and plea. I remember reaching that point of utter helplessness and inability to fix myself. At that moment, I pulled back my mosquito net (at this point the blood suckers were the least of my worries), crawled out from under my bunk, and fell face first in desperation before my King. Despite my pain; I chose to repent of anything unclean and beg for His love to consume and overwhelm me. I knew I must stand against the adversity- the very thing driving my flesh to cower and succumb- and DECLARE His goodness and promises. After a few hours of this, I used what strength I had left to pull my head up in hopes of some spiritual light or direction. The moment I did, something caught my attention through the tears. Wiping them away I realized it was a picture of Jesus hanging right above the window. I had been living in that room for days and hadn't noticed this picture before now. This little Bangla version of Jesus was God speaking loudly to me in that place. "I am here with you, and I will never leave you or forsake you." The waterworks started again uncontrollably as I recognized His gentle, loving, graceful, merciful, guiding hand on my life once again. I knew I'd never be the same.

Shortly after, my team members came in and found me on the floor in a puddle of tears. They scooped me up, showered me with His love, and helped restore my soul with His truth. I'll never ever forget that time in Bangladesh as long as I live and honestly I never want to. Something happened that awakened my soul and made my heart come alive. Extraordinary things happen when we make that decision to push through the dark place to see the hope on the other side. If a caterpillar chose to give up in the cocoon, it would never have the momentous victory of persevering nor the blessing of being able to experience the world from a completely different perspective. Not to mention the benefits of going from eating dirt to feasting on nectar! It would be giving up on it's makers intention for it as a beautiful butterfly flying high as a testimony for all of the other caterpillars to see and believe in.

I've had a small handful of dark times like that since then, but not one of them would I take back because of the sweetness of life that i gained and the majestic glory of God that I experienced. Looking back, I see how much more joy I have now because I believe in a God that rescues, restores, and redeems. George Mueller said it best, "If the Lord fails me at this time, it will be the first time." Many of you are in or have been in a "dark place" and I want to offer you courage and hope today. You may have been in this place for a short or long time, you may be taking something to numb the pain, or you may be battling with this on your own because you don't want to be a burden on anyone else. No matter your situation... I encourage you to push through with PRAISE. Especially if you don't feel it. Every time you declare His goodness in your lack, the strongholds of the enemy are retreating and releasing their grip in your life. Living in the darkness should never be a place to set up camp, but a wilderness to walk through knowing there is freedom, hope and healing on the outer edge. No matter how hard it might get; we must not undermine God's authority, deny His power, or fail to recognize His love.

I know it's tough living in this fallen world in fallen bodies where the enemy loves to play... but we cannot forget who has already won and that we have the amazing opportunity to start living in the kingdom of heaven on earth today! We CAN experience joy through the pain and sorrow. We CAN have hope and give it to others even in our darkest hours. We can live to the fullest right where we are! The enemy may have a plan of destruction, but our God has a plan of redemption... and has already caught the enemy in the very trap he tried to set for us. God is omnipresent and all powerful, the enemy is not.

B90: (Esther 5- Job 12:25) Whether you are reading along with the 90 day challengers or not, I recommend reading this whole section today. At the very least take a look at Esther Ch. 6 & 7 with me real quick. To catch you up to speed, there is a guy name Haman who has it out for Mordecai (Queen Esther's cousin/adopted dad). Because of a few instances with Mordecai and lots of pride, Haman decided to wipe out all the jews throughout the kingdom of Ahasuerus. Death was literally knocking at Mordecai's (and the rest of the jews) door. Haman had the plot and was building the very gallows to hang him. So what did they do? Esther, Mordecai and their people fasted and prayed for 3 days. Ok, now here's where it gets REALLY good.

Esther invites Haman over for dinner and in the meantime the King finds evidence of Mordecai's honor. Then he ends up asking Haman how He should go about showing honor to someone he delights in. Well, Haman can't help but thing it's himself so He starts listing off all of the ways He would just looooove to be honored. Then to his surprise, the king announces his delight in Mordecai and to top it off asks Haman to be the one to show him!!! "Leaving out nothing that he had mentioned." Hilarious! I imagine he was pretty mortified. (If Ashton Kutcher were there He may have coined the term, "Ah, you've just been Mordecai'd!" Haha.) So when the king finds out Haman's plot... He ends up hanging Him on the very gallows he had built for Mordecai's death. Hmmmm, is this sounding familiar yet?

And as if we didn't have enough trouble to keep us busy tonight, Job enters the scene. I know most of us (christian or non-christian) are pretty familiar with this story, but there are several things i'd love to point out. Ok so it's attack, attack, attack... then job wishes he were never born... then his friends enter the picture. I love this little nugget of truth Eliphaz throws out there in Ch. 4, "is not your fear of God your confidence, and the integrity or your ways your hope?" This is one of those things that stuck out to me during that dark place in Bangladesh. And then in this moment when Bildad speaks prophetically over Job, "And though your beginning was small, your latter days will be very great." And as He pours hope and life into His broken brother in Ch. 8: 19-22, just like my friends have done for me in those dark places. Lastly read over a few of Zophar's words in Ch.11 :13-20. These are some amazing things to reflect on those times when you find yourself there.

We'll continue to walk through Job tomorrow, but I pray you've found some tangible hope for today :) Love you all. Goodnight.

P.s. If you truly are having a difficult time finding a way out of the "dark place", please email me at lindsey_little@hotmail.com so i can be personally praying for you. I'd also love to share some the things that helped me through!

(day thirty-five & six) Carried to the table

Thank you everyone who made it out to the art show last night, it went awesome! I've been pretty busy getting everything ready for it, which is a big reason I didn't have a blog for yesterday. Thank you for being patient with me :)

I'm learning more and more that when you pray in God's will, God moves. I know God loves being talked about, worshiped, enjoyed and glorified (and not in the earthly conceited way we may assume). So... if we pray according to these things, we can rest assured it's His will. That's exactly why i love praying for divine appointments. I also pray that God will speak through me in a relatable way and that everything about the moment will glorify Him. Then there is no pressure, no agenda, and no planning... other than the preparation of my heart and theirs. Since it's His thing, He always takes care of all the details... yea, God is pretty cool like that!

I walked into the gallery last night expecting God to move in cool ways... and it was just one divine conversation after the next! One of my friends, who has a muslim background and is desperately searching for truth right now, asked me to pray for her. Afterward, she said..."Lindsey, your prayers worked!" Haha. She is on an amazing journey, and i'm so blessed to be apart of it. I love that God is not intimidated by our journey's! Then I got to hang out with another friend of mine who is also really searching for more to life. We've had many conversations about life, love and the source of it all. This guy knows a lot of high profile athletes as well as people all over the world... what an influence He has in so many lives. I'm excited to be a part of His continuing discovery, and i've been honored to learn so much from him too!

I got to talk to at least 10 others who were encouraged or inspired by my photos. Every one of them had some sort of spiritual connection and it always left for an open door for me to tell them about the love of my life! God moved in such a powerful way in that place last night. All we have to do is be available and make room for Him. There are a whole lot of people out there in the world waiting to be loved in a heavenly way. And here's the thing... I'm not any different than anyone else out there. I'm simply telling this story to encourage all of you to pray and look for these divine moments where God will give you every single thing you need to represent Him in a beautiful way. He's putting broken, lost, or hurting people in our path daily who are hungry for more. Do we see them? In the past i've been so focused on my own hurt, that i didn't see anyone else's pain. Then i finally realized there was no reason to continue to walk around like that because I had a heavenly heart doc that had already healed me; i just needed to step into that healing. Once I did, everything changed. When we know our value and worth it's a whole lot easier to see that in others, treat them well, and love them sacrificially. As God carries us to the banqueting table to feast on His goodness we are overwhelmed by His love and naturally desire to tell everyone about this love that's available and relatable to all!

B90: (Ezra 4:17- Neh 7:3 & Neh 7:4-Esther 4:17) Seems like there was quite a bit of fasting and praying in these books. I love the book of Nehemiah... probably my favorite part is when they are rebuilding the wall and "each labored on the work with one hand and held his weapon with the other" (Neh 4: 17) And truly believed, "Our God will fight for us." In everything that we do for the kingdom, there will be opposition. That's a given. We may not actually see it, but it's going on. Being aware of the spiritual battle that surrounds us is imperative, but knowing God will fight for us is even more eternally significant. We must remember that our armor is not supposed to collect dust in our closet, but to be worn every single day.

There is so much meat in Chapter 9 when the people confess their sin. I think i must have underlined, circled or starred pretty much everything. There is something magical that takes place when we recognize the state we currently find ourselves in compared to the magnificent glory of God. We suddenly realize our GREAT for Him. Then the result is complete FREEDOM to fully be who He's created us to be. Our praise and worship comes from a deeper place of gratitude and honor. We are acknowledging His goodness and responding to His love.

And just like Esther who was summoned by name to the King's courts because He delighted in her, so are you. He calls us all to His banqueting table and lavishes us with His love.

Here are lyrics to one of my favorite Leeland songs "carried to the table", thought it might be appropriate for this blog:
Wounded and forsaken
I was shattered by the fall
Broken and forgotten
Feeling lost and all alone
Summoned by the King
Into the Master's courts
Lifted by the Savior
And cradled in His arms

I was carried to the table
Seated where I don't belong
Carried to the table
Swept away by His love
And I don't see my brokenness anymore
When I'm seated at the table of the Lord
I'm carried to the table
The table of the Lord

Fighting thoughts of fear
And wondering why He called my name
Am I good enough to share this cup
This world has left me lame
Even in my weakness
The Savior called my name
In His Holy presence
I'm healed and unashamed

You carried me, my God
You carried me

(day thirty-four) It's a bloody mess... but worth every drop.

I don't know if anyone else notices this, but it seems like God is on the move- big time. I know it may seem like i talk a lot about God's unfathomable, unconditional, all encompassing, gentle, personal, majestic love. But there's a good reason for it. First of all... to even spread this love, we gotta know it first. Not only do we need to know it, we gotta encounter it. To fully submerse ourselves in His love means we must embrace the TRUTH of who He is and invite our flesh to be crucified. Our flesh is the one believing all those lies we hear anyway, and then doing stupid stuff to keep us from fully engaging with His heart. I meet people all the time who know Christ, but have never ever let His love sink in. I'm still trying to figure this one out.

For the first time in many years, I've spent a significant amount of time in one place. I was just thinking today how it seems everything i've been learning over the years about God, myself and the world is finally sinking in and taking root. I'm now able to rest in the presence of the Lord without being overwhelmed by the burden of his lost, broken, and wounded creation. I still cry out for them... but I have learned how to let Him carry it instead, believing He already died for it. I've also learned how to BE instead of trying to live up to the world's expectations of me daily. His expectations are simple. Learn how to be His kid.

On that journey I've discovered how well He loves me... I've been pretty overwhelmed with this many times. As a result, my heart for the lost, broken and wounded has grown a million times it's original size. So now, i see all humans on the same scale. Everyone is loved by God deeply... just not everyone has had the revelation of His love yet. Unfortunately, there are some christians... even preachers... who have not yet known this encounter. It seems the deeper the revelation the more evidence of fruit in their life. The more we learn how to be His kid, the more we experience this love for us... and the more we truly desire to love others in this way. So much unspoken truth is told through this selfless expression of love. We've got to trust that God knows what He's doing. The church has got to become a place where people come to be healed... and go back out into the world to touch others lives with the testimony of His love. Too often we come to church every Sunday in the exact same position we left in. No less slavery, no more freedom. Same ole, same ole. He wants to shake us out of our daily routine! He wants us to be excited for the all of the divine appointments, ministry opportunities, and adventure around every corner! He wants to completely and utterly wreck us with His love. (In a good way of course!)

Wanna get shaken up in the best way possible? Ask for a love encounter. You'll never be the same.

B90: (2 Chron 29- Ezra 4:16) Chapter 29 probably stuck out to me more than anything in this section. I just love Hezekiah's guts and ambition as He begins purging the temple of all the crap that been stacking up over the years. He knew it was time for a nice good detox, so He did it. Go Hez! I can just picture Him doing all this handy-work around the place with his fancy gold plated hammer and legitimate cow skin tool belt, can't you? Ha. So, they brought out EVERYTHING that was unclean... even the utensils (gross) that King Ahaz used when He was faithless. (29: 19) (Hmmmm... Remember the water molecule miracle blog?)

So then several things happen that are pretty signif. They do some bloody sacrifice. Pretty messy sitch with some slaughtering... blood throwing, etc. Sounds kind of like a friday the 13th movie if you ask me. Then again, real sacrifice is never pretty. The original cross was not this cute little silver necklace... it was splintery, bloody, and smelly. In our world, we hardly know what sacrifice is anymore. There's no reason to put yourself in that uncomfortable position. Or is there? Actually, when we put ourselves on the alter... we are voluntarily allowing God to burn away our flesh and cover us with His blood so that we can walk off that alter fully alive in Him!!!

And once they repented, cleansed and sacrificed they took out their cymbals and harps and started singing praises to the Lord! And the WHOLE assembly worshiped! (29:28) After that they brought more thank offerings, then they CELEBRATED! They had feasts, served one another, encouraged each other, giving thanks to the Lord and singing with ALL THEIR MIGHT. (30:21) Why the heck don't we party like this?

One of our weeks in ywam is called "Lordship" week. Mark, the speaker we usually have, loves to walk us through this process. Throughout the week we are facing all of our own dirt and crap that's been stacking up over the years. It's NOT a pretty sight sometimes. We have the opportunity to keep hanging on and let it have reign in our lives, or to let it go and repent. The last day is probably the most intense. We walk in that morning- entering into His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise! Then we repent before the Lord, He cleanses us... and we lay down symbols of sacrifice to the Lord. The cross becomes SO REAL. You begin to see how messy His sacrifice for us was...and how worthy He ALWAYS is of our praise. After this we worship again... bring more offering to the Lord then... we party like it's 1999! We have a major feast together honoring God, encouraging each other... and just delighting in His presence. At the end you've never felt so FREE and whole! It's amazing!!!! And even the more reason to celebrate His goodness and mercy!!!! When you choose to walk this in obedience to God... you can't help but experience the greatest love encounter of your life. And that is just the beginning :)

(day thirty-three) heart doc: the hand that holds and heals

On the subject of hearts... ours is an essential muscular organ that pumps blood received from the veins into the arteries, thus maintaining the flow of blood through the entire body. Fact: we need a heart to simply live. Our heart is also the vital center and source of one's being, emotions, and sensibilities. A few days ago while my grandpa was having some chest pains, my family found themselves unsure of the man who was determining the source of these troubles. Most of their distrust lied in the uncertainty of the doctor. Whether it was a lack of confidence or sympathy, the fam couldn't help but think something might go wrong. It's amazing what a nurturing and assured heart could've done to ease the fear, restore the hope, and lay the foundation of trust that would get them through situation regardless of the outcome.

Around mid-day He started crashing. Outside the room mom and grandma were left guessing, and begging the Lord for a miracle. Across the state, my cousins and I had the half the youth camp praying in a matter of minutes. At the same moment that I placed my trust in the Father, He placed His power in me to speak life into the hearts of these children. So as the physicians were frantically working to stabilize my grandfather, our heavenly father was performing open-heart surgery on his wounded kids in great need of supernatural tlc. Before our session was over, I got the text saying He was going to be ok! Hallelujah!

Many hearts were healed that day, physically and spiritually. But I wonder how many of us walk around every day with a broken heart and don't even know it. My mom's best friend went to the hospital yesterday with chest pains and is having heart surgery tomorrow. Up to this point, she had no indication that there was anything major going on. (Please take a moment to lift her up in prayer.) Most of us don't realize we need God to do an overhaul on our own hearts until it's at emergency status. Unfortunately the world deals us so many painful cards our negative emotions tend to stack up pretty quickly. We easily find ourselves looking for coping mechanisms that are worthwhile if they can just numb the pain.

Temporary absence of the ache disguises our legitimate urgency for authentic miraculous love.

Let's do a quick little examination. Allow Him to peal back the layers and expose the heart in it's current state. No one person on earth is exempt from this deep longing that lies beneath the surface of our soul; and no human being is farther than God's arm can reach. That's what makes His love so majestic... His grace has found us just as we are. Empty handed but alive in His hands.

As you search deeper: do you find fear, anxiety, restlessness, or uncertainty? Are you able to love others fully and sacrificially with nothing in return? Can you trust our Dad completely, or can you only trust Him to the degree you trust your earthly father? Do you see yourself and others how God sees you?

What God says about himself and us is true, no matter how we feel. He has confidence in who He's created us to be. It's amazing what His nurturing and assured heart does to ease our fear, restore our hope, and lay the foundation of trust that get us through any situation regardless of the outcome. Let the following words sink deep as the ultimate heart doctor reveals His love in a way that will alter your life forever. Take a moment to posture your heart humbly before His feet. I pray that as you read this love letter for YOU, that you will sense your heart in His secure and gentle grip and it will then begin to beat with the rhythm of His own. I truly believe He desires to heal our hearts and transform the body of Christ with His blood that's pumped directly from the cross into the very depths of our soul.

My Child,

You may not know me,
but I know everything about you.
Psalm 139:1

I know when you sit down and when you rise up.
Psalm 139:2

I am familiar with all your ways.
Psalm 139:3

Even the very hairs on your head are numbered.
Matthew 10:29-31

For you were made in my image.
Genesis 1:27

In me you live and move and have your being.
Acts 17:28

For you are my offspring.
Acts 17:28

I knew you even before you were conceived.
Jeremiah 1:4-5

I chose you when I planned creation.
Ephesians 1:11-12

You were not a mistake,
for all your days are written in my book.
Psalm 139:15-16

I determined the exact time of your birth
and where you would live.
Acts 17:26

You are fearfully and wonderfully made.
Psalm 139:14

I knit you together in your mother's womb.
Psalm 139:13

And brought you forth on the day you were born.
Psalm 71:6

I have been misrepresented
by those who don't know me.
John 8:41-44

I am not distant and angry,
but am the complete expression of love.
1 John 4:16

And it is my desire to lavish my love on you.
1 John 3:1

Simply because you are my child
and I am your Father.
1 John 3:1

I offer you more than your earthly father ever could.
Matthew 7:11

For I am the perfect father.
Matthew 5:48

Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand.
James 1:17

For I am your provider and I meet all your needs.
Matthew 6:31-33

My plan for your future has always been filled with hope.
Jeremiah 29:11

Because I love you with an everlasting love.
Jeremiah 31:3

My thoughts toward you are countless
as the sand on the seashore.
Psalms 139:17-18

And I rejoice over you with singing.
Zephaniah 3:17

I will never stop doing good to you.
Jeremiah 32:40

For you are my treasured possession.
Exodus 19:5

I desire to establish you
with all my heart and all my soul.
Jeremiah 32:41

And I want to show you great and marvelous things.
Jeremiah 33:3

If you seek me with all your heart,
you will find me.
Deuteronomy 4:29

Delight in me and I will give you
the desires of your heart.
Psalm 37:4

For it is I who gave you those desires.
Philippians 2:13

I am able to do more for you
than you could possibly imagine.
Ephesians 3:20

For I am your greatest encourager.
2 Thessalonians 2:16-17

I am also the Father who comforts you
in all your troubles.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4

When you are brokenhearted,
I am close to you.
Psalm 34:18

As a shepherd carries a lamb,
I have carried you close to my heart.
Isaiah 40:11

One day I will wipe away
every tear from your eyes.
Revelation 21:3-4

And I'll take away all the pain
you have suffered on this earth.
Revelation 21:3-4

I am your Father, and I love you
even as I love my son, Jesus.
John 17:23

For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed.
John 17:26

He is the exact representation of my being.
Hebrews 1:3

He came to demonstrate that I am for you,
not against you.
Romans 8:31

And to tell you that I am not counting your sins.
2 Corinthians 5:18-19

Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled.
2 Corinthians 5:18-19

His death was the ultimate expression
of my love for you.
1 John 4:10

I gave up everything I loved
that I might gain your love.
Romans 8:31-32

If you receive the gift of my son Jesus,
you receive me.
1 John 2:23

And nothing will ever separate you
from my love again.
Romans 8:38-39

Come home and I'll throw the biggest party
heaven has ever seen.
Luke 15:7

I have always been Father,
and will always be Father.
Ephesians 3:14-15

My question is…
Will you be my child?
John 1:12-13

I am waiting for you.
Luke 15:11-32

Love, Your Dad
Almighty God

Father's Love Letter used by permission Father Heart Communications
© 1999-2011 www.FathersLoveLetter.com

(Side note: If you have trouble accepting God's love for you for whatever reason, make it a point to read this every morning and soak in His truth. As I finished up this blog "How He loves us" began to play. Listen to this song while you sit at His feet and receive. Pray the God connects your head knowledge of Him with your heart. Pray for a TRUE love encounter in yourself, your family, your work, your church, your town... and the world.)

B90: (2 Chron. 15:2- 28:27)

(day thirty-two) tea & biscuits

Every opportunity I've had to spend some time in another country, I'm overwhelmed by their kindness and generosity. I'm not saying people are not hospitable here (because i have definitely been blessed by so many), but i have encountered and been deeply moved by their heart of giving. One vivid picture I have is when I was in very poor part of Northern India. Someone had said that a woman wanted us to stop by her house on the way home. Well, the house was more like a few boards stuck together with pieces of old dingy material covering the door and window. Two of us squeezed in there with her family of 3 and settled on the earthy floor. Instead of this woman (who obviously has nothing by our standards) apologizing for it being cramped or dirty, she is tripping over herself to prepare us tea and biscuits. Over and over we found ourselves in a similar situation to this. Watching human beings living in these rough conditions day after day with an over abundance of service, love, and gratitude as suddenly you feel unworthy to be in the presence of such a saint. The crazy thing is, most of these people don't even know who Jesus is... it's just a way of life for them.

Culture shock is stepping back into an environment where this isn't the norm. Where making lots of money to live in debt and above our means IS. It's a harsh reality, but once you step outside this boarder and cross an ocean your eyes begin to adjust to the tiny percentile we are living in and the large mass of poverty and need we shield from our vision. I'm betting that if we truly waited around for God to provide for our needs we'd have a lot less crap in our attic.

Here are some truths that I've learned the past couple of years: God is the God of the impossible, God is the ultimate provider and has unlimited resources, God does care about all of His creation, God hates sin not those who sin, God hates what has happened to His creation because of sin, God is redeeming and restoring us back to His original intention for us, God is near to the broken-hearted and troubled, God blesses those who give freely and rejoice in Him, God deeply cares for all His creation and delights in us stewarding it all well, and He loves loves loves when we give Him the glory for everything!

So, I'm not judging or coming down on anyone (if so, i'm included in that) rather giving us a picture of what the world looks like from His perspective. It's easy to imagine what the world might look like from space with all the pictures we now have. But we can't even begin to fathom what God's perspective must be like. He can see all, know all and love all at the same time! And instead of His eyes watching how much we give away or hold on to, He sees our heart. Is our heart giving freely while celebrating His goodness and provision for ourselves and the world? Or do our hearts let go of only what we can afford while fearing our needs may not be met the way we think they should?

One of my mentors and good friends always encourages people to give in the area that they are lacking. So if you are having trouble with your finances, find ways in which to give money to others. The easier it is for you to let go, the better position you are (open-handed) to receive from the heavenly realm. It's this whole upside-down kingdom that we live in. If you are lacking in love, find ways to love others selflessly and watch as God blows you away with His unfathomable love.


Just a few days ago while visiting Nashville I was approached by a homeless man asking for change. Now, first of all if God is calling us to give to the poor... it's up to the holy spirit on guiding that person on how to use it. It's good to be in-tune with the HS in a situation like this. We must let go, again, of our control and let God do all the work. I usually end up praying for the person and giving them a little money making sure they know who my provider is... but this case was a little different. I felt as though the Lord was asking me to give him money, but to make him promise to give half of it away. I thought this was a little weird at first, but then it all made sense. Before I knew it I was preaching to the guy about giving joyfully and freely even when we don't have our own needs met and waiting on the Lord to take care of us. I have no earthly idea what the end of the story was, but I do know that the man walked away skipping so excited about finding someone to help and love on! I truly believe God will begin to reveal himself to this man and those he assists in a beautiful way!

Imagine a world for a second where believers truly lived in this freedom, sacrificially giving of their time, money, and resources. I know plenty of people like this that don't know Jesus, but how much more does God delight in this way of life when we give Him all the glory and trust He'll take care of the rest! How much more will people see that we don't just care about their "fire insurance" but we deeply care about the process of sanctification. We are all on this journey together, some just haven't had a revelation of His transforming love yet... and what better person to share this love than you.

B90: (1 Chron. 29- 2 Chron. 14:15) At the very start of Ch. 29 David is mobilizing Solomon to do all of the great work God has chosen him to do for His own glory. Then down in vs.5 asks the question..."who then will offer willingly, consecrating himself today to the Lord?" Then it says all the leaders, commanders, and officers gave freewill offerings of money, service and valuables. "Then the people REJOICED because they had given willingly for with a whole heart they had offered freely to the Lord, David the king also rejoiced greatly." Ch 29:9 Then David continues to give all of the glory as He declares His goodness in the next several verses.

Then He asks, "But who am I, and what is my people, that we should be able thus to offer willingly? For all things come from you, and of your own have we given you." Ch 29: 14. Wow! So packed full of goodies i'll let you unwrap this one for yourself. "I know my God, that you test the uprightness, in the uprightness of my heart I have freely offered all these things, and now I have seen our people, who are present here, offering freely and joyously to you."

"If my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land." 2 Chron 7:14 As we seek him with our whole hearts humbly, and as His love begins to free us from the chains of our sin... He will forgive us and heal our land. What an opportunity we also have to stand in the gap for those who do not yet know our King interceding for their own land to be healed and hearts to be free! Amen!!!